


Contact

by TempestWolfe



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 05:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20222815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TempestWolfe/pseuds/TempestWolfe
Summary: Four times Rey and Kylo Ren make contact and choose separate paths and one time they don't.





	Contact

** _One _ **

“You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.”

Untucking my arm from the blanket, I reach towards him. My eyes don’t leave his face, and I watch as surprise ripples across it for a moment. I wonder if that’s just the flames of the campfire in my hut or my imagination. I wait, and he slowly removes his glove. Reaching, we stare at the other, in a sullen curiosity, as our fingertips meet.

I can see him, as he was and as he is—the loneliest boy in the universe. Lost, forgotten, left behind and loathed at every turn. Betrayed, by all those who he loved. Trusting no one, loving no one, he boils with hate, not for his enemies, but himself.

It must be his fault they won’t love him.

His fault

His fault

His fault

Tears drip down my face as I stare at him, breath hitching, his pain spreading through my heart.

I can also feel the hope, buried so deep in his soul that it is nearly blocked out, that one day—one day—he would get out of this mess. He could go back to his family. Make things right with Luke. Love again, and be loved again.

I stare into his dark brown eyes, I wonder what he is seeing.

“Nooo!” I turn to see Luke shatter the side of my hut, and with a hiss, Ben is gone.

** _Two _ **

I can’t help myself.

Reaching out slowly, my palm up, I wait for his response. With a similar caution, he removes his glove—a scene almost a perfect mirror of our experience on Ach-too. This time, he stops, his hand hovering just inches over mine. He pulls back. Hurt flashes through me before I can stop it, and I pull my hand back. He pulls his other glove off and reaches towards me again, both palms down. I glance at his face, the scar I carved across his cheek glints in the moonlight as we kneel in the pine needles. His eyes are dark and firm, his mouth a straight line. I reach out my hands in response, breaking our eye contact again. Our movements are slow and careful, the force humming around us as his fingertips touch mine, and I’m thrown into a vision.

Ben falls into his mother’s arms, and they cling to each other.

My breath catches. Our fingers slide across each other’s, both hands in unison.

He’s buried his face in her shoulder, she has one hand buried in his hair, holding him to her

My fingertips glide across his calloused palms, as he does the same to mine.

He is so much larger than she is, and yet, he is so small in her arms. She cradles him like a child.

His fingertips find my wrist and mine his.

He raises his head to look at me, over her shoulder. His eyes are soft and sad. A tear falls.

Our hands close around the other’s wrist, locking the other’s pulse against our palms

He smiles at me, no words, just the smile. A silent thanks.

Then, he is gone, leaving me alone, arms out, palms up, waiting for him to reach out again.

** _Three_ **

Again, we don’t speak. I can feel him behind me already.

I turn. Ben’s staring. I reach out to him and wait for him to step forward and take my hand.

His hands are already gloveless, and he takes a few steps forward, my hand nearly touching his tunic. He reaches out one hand toward my head. I don’t move and stare at him as, with the softest touch, he lays his warm hand against my cheek.

No vision comes, as they have previously. Our moment feels frozen, Ben’s palm on my cheek, our eyes daring the other to move, to choose the other’s side. My hand shakes as I bring it up to rest on his cheek, my thumb running over the scar I put there. I can feel his jaw tense beneath my fingers, but he soon relaxes, carefully placing the slightest of pressure against my hand. He closes his eyes.

I can hardly breathe, a moment of such intimacy, and trust, between two enemies. A moment of doubt, of fear, wells up inside me, but I push it down. I trust Ben.

I close my eyes too.

We stand like that for only a moment, before the force bond closes again with a snap.

** _Four_ **

He is sleeping if you could call it that. He wrestles, jaw clenching, body twisting, arms jerking under the covers.

“Ben,” I rub his shoulder through the sheet. “Ben.”

He jerks awake, and I leap back as his lightsaber flies into his hand and ignites. It takes him a moment to realize it’s me. He turns it off and slides his legs over the side of the bed.

I pull up a stool and sit across from him.

“We need to talk this time, you know,” I whisper to him and he nods

We sit, both quiet for a few more moments

“I can’t come back, Rey.” He finally manages

“I know.” I sigh, and his face shifts to surprise again, and maybe a bit of hope. 

“So, you’ll come with me?”

“No. I can’t go with you either, Ben. You know that.”

“I do.” His words are bitter but resigned.

“But I am not giving up on you. I won’t join you, and you won’t join me, so we’ll have to compromise.” 

“Compromise?” He spits out, leaping to his feet, “You can’t compromise dark and light. There is one, and there is another. You cannot have both.”

“Ben.” I murmur, reaching out for the hand limp at his side “There is always a way.”

I’m not expecting a vision, but one arrives at the contact of my fingers sliding between his.

We’re still clasped together, staring at waves crashing into the sea, the sun shining down and turning the open ocean to diamonds. I watch myself turn to look at Ben, and I notice that one of my eyes is the red-yellow of the sith, the other my usual bright green. When he turns in response, I see the same effect on him. I watch as they lean in, closer and—

Ben rips his hand from mine, cutting the vision off. He’s breathing heavily.

“What did you see?” I whisper

“You know what I saw. You put that there.” He snaps back at me

“I didn’t. I promise. I would never lie to you, Ben. That was a vision of the force, not from me.”

He stares at me, unwilling to believe. Before he can make up his mind, the connection snaps and he is gone.

** _Five _ **

“No!” I hear someone bellow from behind me as I raise my lightsaber on the advancing troops. Every gun held by the Guardsmen is ripped from their grasp. Safe, at least momentarily, I turn to see Ben step out of the woods, lightsaber on, eyes ablaze. Our eyes meet, and he nods.

With impossible synchronicity, we take on the dozens of troops, the same ease of battle we managed on the Supremacy replicated yet again. Tossing weapons between us, spinning corpses and danger in and out of each other’s way, we save ourselves and each other on repeat. The battle ends. I hold his lightsaber, and he holds mine. The only sound in the cold darkness is us panting.

“Ben—” I am cut off by a shot from the dark, which barely misses him, whizzing past his shoulder.

I watch, with a sinking feeling, as a platoon of rebels charges out of the forest, guns blazing. I hardly think before charging back. Again, we fight, slaughtering my friends instead of his. The conflict burns in my belly, the self-hatred at harming my own friends to protect Ben boils my flesh, and I shriek in anger, my efforts doubled as I viciously mow down everything in my path. The battle ends. My lightsaber is in my hands again.

I turn to him, both of us covered in dirt, sweat, and blood. We’re surrounded by the corpses of the First Order and Resistance alike. We sheath our weapons at our belts and take a few steps towards each other, closing the gap.

“Your eyes.” He whispers, reaching out to touch my cheek with his dirty hand. I already know what’s happened.

“Yours too,” I whisper, placing my hand on his cheek as well. One red, one green eye for both of us. Half dark and half-light, a perfect balance. 

He steps closer, and I can feel his breath on my face. The closer he gets, the more apparent our size difference becomes. He bends down, our foreheads brush, my eyes close. Our noses bump into each other, and we stay like that for a long time—Palm to cheek, head to head, nose to nose. There’s a power to be had here, and I feel it coursing through the force around us. I tilt my head up slightly, and slide my hand around the back of his neck slowly, before bringing my other hand up to meet it. He leans down a bit more, and our lips brush just slightly. The feeling is electric, more power in that touch than anything I have ever felt. I pull back, just enough to pull our lips apart, but not enough to untangle our arms from around each other or pull our bodies apart.

“I love you.” He breathes, the words hardly more than a whisper, and I can feel the light in him flash stronger for a moment.

“I know.”


End file.
